Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Life.

Things are becoming very hard, I still love my boyfriend to death but im afraid he might not feel the same way. He says I stress him out which is understandable because I know im a handful, but im just trying to keep him as close as possible without being to clingy.
He makes me who I am, he keeps me strong and I know hes trying to, but I just can't help but think...am I good enough?
Do I deserve you, or am I just kidding myself? But im afraid if I tell him how I feel he will start to question wether or not I am good enough.
I want to think I am pretty and I am special but everyday it seems harder, it feels like im kidding myself. I am no different then any other girl...but you chose me....why?
He is an incredible person who deserves the best....and I know I am not the best, I am no where near the best. And if he reads this yes it will probably tick him off, but its how I feel, its how I feel everyday when I am alone. It's why I can't sleep. It caused me to have an anxiety attack the other night, I began to pray asking that I could have this one thing its all I want right now, and then I began to think , am I good enough does he really love me does he want to be with me even with all my problems? It started to get hard to breath and I couldn't help but cry. I trusted my friend with this hoping she could help but all she did was send him a message causing him to worry. And I didn't want to do that because all it did was prove that I cause him stress and that is not what I want, I want to make his life easy and happy I want to give him what no other girl can.
Life has become so much harder then it ever should be for anyone person

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