Tuesday, August 18, 2009

funny moment

So on the 17th of july 2009 me and a few friends decided to get drunk, we were at my friends house. We will call these friends Angel, Jessi, and Andy . So this is what happend, me and Angel decided we wanted to go for a trip to the moon so went went into Jessi's backyard and started jumping on the trampoline and once we decided we were at the moon we got into our rocketship and went flying around the house...no one was there... so we went outside into the front yard (neither of us had shirts on) and we see Jessi and Andy making out in his car so we grab my camera and hide behind the car and we start filming we are talking about how we are documenting aliens mating and we lift up the camera to get a shot of Andy and Jessi and he must have seen the camera because heres were it gets really funny, Andy swings the car door open and it hits me in the face so me and Angel get up and go running down he street screaming they're going to eat us in our bras at 1am.

And that is why I love my friends.


Things are becoming very hard, I still love my boyfriend to death but im afraid he might not feel the same way. He says I stress him out which is understandable because I know im a handful, but im just trying to keep him as close as possible without being to clingy.
He makes me who I am, he keeps me strong and I know hes trying to, but I just can't help but think...am I good enough?
Do I deserve you, or am I just kidding myself? But im afraid if I tell him how I feel he will start to question wether or not I am good enough.
I want to think I am pretty and I am special but everyday it seems harder, it feels like im kidding myself. I am no different then any other girl...but you chose me....why?
He is an incredible person who deserves the best....and I know I am not the best, I am no where near the best. And if he reads this yes it will probably tick him off, but its how I feel, its how I feel everyday when I am alone. It's why I can't sleep. It caused me to have an anxiety attack the other night, I began to pray asking that I could have this one thing its all I want right now, and then I began to think , am I good enough does he really love me does he want to be with me even with all my problems? It started to get hard to breath and I couldn't help but cry. I trusted my friend with this hoping she could help but all she did was send him a message causing him to worry. And I didn't want to do that because all it did was prove that I cause him stress and that is not what I want, I want to make his life easy and happy I want to give him what no other girl can.
Life has become so much harder then it ever should be for anyone person

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

You fall in love

I fell in love with a boy, he is my world and he is all I want, he knows everything about me, and im working at knowing everything about him but thats kinda hard for me considering I have the worst memory in the world. Im sure hes told me everything about him several times over and soon ill remember =)
He likes to see me and give me compliments, and I want to spend every moment with him and we are celebrating our 1 year this Friday.
Which is why when I turn 16 I am moving out of my families house and in with him.
To all you girls and guys who are truly and madly in love, don't be afraid to stand up to your family I did and I know my mother is not happy about it but im leaving no matter what. I know family is important but you are going to have to grow up sooner or later, and when you know its time...well then its time.